How to speak so that people want to listen to you
Have you ever felt like you’re talking, but nobody is listening?
Here’s Julian Treasure to help you fix that.
As the sound expert demonstrates some useful vocal exercises and shares tips on how to speak with empathy, he offers his vision for a sonorous world of listening and understanding.
Sometimes you talk and get the feeling that noone is listening. Julian starts by listing the ‘7 deadly sins’ of conversation – basically people don’t want to listen if you are doing this
- Gossip (speaking about people who aren’t present, and probably saying nasty things about the listener later)
- Judging (judging the person you are speaking to, and finding them wanting)
- Negativity (negative outlook)
- Complaining (achieves nothing)
- Excuses (passing problems of the world on to everyone else)
- Dogmatism (mixing up facts and opinion)
However there are 4 positive, powerful ways to improve your conversation style – summarised as HAIL.
- Honesty – be true and clear with what you mean
- Authenticity – be yourself, stand in your own truth
- Integrity – do what you say, be trustworthy
- Love – wish people well
You can also look at how you say it – tools in your speech patterns to enhance your speech.
- Register – a deeper voice from the chest speaks with more power and authority.
- Timbre – how the voice feels or sounds – distinct from tone or loudness.
- prosody – the sing-song or up and down of the movement – opposite of montonous. Some problems are an upward inflection at the end of every sentence to make everything a question?
- Pace- a rapid pace, then slowing down for emphasis. Or just pausing occasionally can be very powerful.
- Pitch – a higher pitch can make you sound more excited
- Volume – quiet to make people lean in and pay attention, louder can also show excitement. Don’t broadcast loudly all the time.
Finally he discusses 6 vocal warmup exercises – to get you ready before you need to talk. This includes breathing, making noises with lips, ‘rapberries’, lalala on tongue, practising a rolled ‘r’, and moving through the whole range of pitch.